The News Boy George Fabulous

Becoming a sound bite.

What is your earliest memory?

My father's jealousy, rage and anger, and my mother's tears.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I give up far too easily, have no respect for money and I always make the mistake of working with friends.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Freeloading.

Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?

A number of friends, sadly.

What is your most treasured possession?

Humour.

What would your super power be?

To rid the planet of hunger, suffering, Aids and crap music.

What makes you depressed?

Watching gloriously dull and untalented people enjoy success.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I wish I had longer legs.

Would you rather be clever and ugly, or thick and attractive?

I'm all of those things, yet I have such a lustful libido that I refuse to take 'no' for an answer, wilfully lust above my station and often get my man.

Who would play you in the film of your life?

Uma Thurman, of course.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Satisfying my lust, whatever the price.

What is your most unappealing habit?

Bitching.

What would you most like to wear to a fancy dress party?

A bikini, sling-backs and the crown jewels.

What is the worst thing anyone's said to you?

'I need a bit of space, time to think.'

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?

Madonna, because I have said far too many vile things about her and all because she invited me to her birthday party and tried to humiliate me by making sure I was not allowed into an area sectioned off for the truly blessed.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Indifferent, heterosexual men.

What does love feel like?

I am not interested in physically restrained, polite love. I need passion - Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.

What was the best kiss of your life?

I love frantic french kissing, raging teenage face-eating kissing.

Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?

Never.

Which living person do you most despise, and why?

Despise is too strong, but I met Bette Midler and was horrified to find she was nothing like I had dreamed. Her insincerity was matched only by her void of humanity, humour and grace.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

'I'll be five minutes!'

What has been your biggest disappointment?

Getting arrested in New York and discovering how lacking in morality US law enforcers are. Being handcuffed to a metal trolley in Bellevue Hospital because I cut my foot while being dragged from a police car, and listening to nurses chatting about hair products as I screamed for something to stop me hallucinating.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?

The royalty splits on Karma Chameleon - I had to force the rest of...#8239;Culture Club to record it.

What is the closest you've come to...#8239;death?

A headline in a tabloid.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

A lobotomy.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Never tell the police the truth.

Tell us a joke

What is the difference between a man and a toilet seat?

A toilet seat doesn't keep bothering you after you've used it.

Tell us a secret

There is a wizard behind the curtain.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,2253791,00.html

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